Author Archives: Brett

Sad old bigot dies, Logan leads joyful mob


As everybody on the Internet knows by now, former Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps has died at the age of 85 after recently losing control of his church and being excommunicated. You spend that long preaching fire and brimstone only to end up like that? Talk about having the rug pulled out from under you. Anyway, while virtually nobody is sad about this man’s passing, the chief beneficiary amongst humanity has to be Logan, who netted a sweet 30 points on his second score of the season. This moves him into second place, albeit still trailing Tom, who is still coasting on the points earned in his Hoffman heist,

A side note about scoring: April 2 will begin the second quarter of the year, and beginning then any scores will earn base points *1.25.


Oscar winner shakes up competition


In what was certainly the biggest surprise of the season thus far, news surfaced Sunday morning that famed Oscar-winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman had passed at the age of 46 of an apparent heroin overdose. Surprising perhaps to everybody but Tom, who had shrewdly drafted Hoffman as a late-round selection barely one month ago. Because of the thespian’s young age and terms of his passing, this will be a large windfall and may well set the tone for the rest of the season as Whitney Houston’s surprise passing did two years ago. This is also the first score of the year applicable under the rule change awarding a bonus for unusual cause of death. To recap, accidental deaths (such as a traffic accident or as a direct result of injury) earn a 5-point bonus while suicides and drug overdoses earn a 15-point bonus. As long as the coroner’s report does not rule the latter out, Tom will earn the bonus plus 50 base points for a hefty sum of 65.

Current standings:

1. Tom, 95

2. Molly, 35

3. Logan and Tim, 25 each


Folk legend passes, Logan nabs first score



January sure has been a record month for scores! Yesterday evening, folk legend Pete Seeger died at the age of 94 of presumably natural causes, being the fourth celebrity in our competition to have passed this month. It’s also the first for Logan, who earned 25 points for the nonagenarian. Current standings:

1. Molly, 35

2. Tom, 30

3 (tie). Logan and Tim, 25 each

Tim on the board!


Yet another January score occurred yesterday when womens’ professional wrestling pioneer Mae Young died at the age of 90. She had been on life support for an undisclosed illness from December 30 to January 9 and had since been in hospice care. Her passing earns Tim 25 base points for a celebrity in their 90s and up and no bonuses for time of year or circumstances. This is his first score, but the second #1 pick to have gone thus far this year (Amiri Baraka was the other). Current standings are:

1. Molly, 35 (Amiri Baraka)

2. Tom, 30 (Ariel Sharon)

3. Tim, 25 (Mae Young)

Two quick scores

baraka                                                  sharon

Not even two weeks into the new season two competitors have racked up a score. First, Molly banked 35 points upon the passing of poet Amiri Baraka (formerly LeRoi Jones) at the age of 79. Cause of death was not reported, but he had been hospitalized the month prior. The second score belonged to Tom, who earned 30 points when former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon died after a lengthy coma. No bonuses were earned due to cause of death, nor for occurring later in the year.


2014 Draft Results

As the new year is upon us, such it is time to embark on the third annual Fantasyobits league draft. We met this afternoon at the commissioner’s home and debated rule changes and ate well before the actual draft took place. Our ranks swelled to nine participants this year, having lost one but gained three new faces.

Scoring will largely stay the same, in that points will still be greater the younger the celebrity and the later in the year they meet their end. The one tweak will be that there is now a bonus for more unusual circumstances surrounding death at a flat rate no matter what time of year it happens or the age of the celebrity.

Draft order was determined upon the finish order of the 2013 season, with new faces going first and ties broken by a d30 roll, and rounds were alternated using switchback start. Returning players were once again allowed the option to keep one pick from their previous roster. Draft results can be seen at this Google Drive link.

2013 Season Recap

The end of 2013 means the end of the second season of FantasyObits, with the following final results:

1. Brett – 225 points: Stan Musial (25, Q1), Hugo Chavez (45, Q1), Frank Thornton (25, Q1), Roger Ebert (43, Q2), Harry F. Byrd Jr. (37, Q3), Nelson Mandela (50, Q4-Dec).

2. Tom – 120 points: Peter O’Toole (60, Q4-Dec), Ronnie Biggs (60, Q4-Dec).

3. Tracy – 37 points: Margaret Thatcher (37, Q2).


Another score for Tom! Three days ago, the English criminal Ronnie Biggs died at the age of 84 of unspecified reasons. He is known from his role in the Great Train Robbery of 1963 and for having escaped from prison and being a long-time fugitive up until 2001.

Thus, in combination with Peter O’Toole’s recent passing, Tom has netted two scores at double base points for being in December. This brings him to a solid second place at 120 points, still trailing Brett’s 225. However, with his luck and several remaining Englishmen and women in his list, anything can happen!